SINS: Sorry I'm Not Sorry

Email--NopeNotApologizing(at)gmail(dot)com
Many sports fans know Valdosta, Georgia as “Titletown USA” due to their propensity for winning state, regional and national championships in sports such as, surprise, football.  Tonite, I am getting my first taste of this shithole. After putting off of I-75 exit 16 towards QUITMAN….talk about an omen, a sign, when you are getting off an exit after three hours of driving and the sign is say “hey man, probably not a good ideea, just QUITMAN.” Ugh.  Well after pulling off the itnerstate, I am 450 feet off the exit where I see what I hope is the only nightclub in town, because it is in a BARN. A BARN. As in where LIVE farmstock live, shit, pee, and give birth. A BARN.  While I passed that eye sore, I soon thereafter pulled into my hotel. The nicest hotel in town, the comfort inn…where the sounds of speeding cars on the interstate sooth you to sleep…but you cant hit snooze on a honking semi now can you?!  Well I met up with 2 clients of mine for dinner.  Would you be surprised if I told you that the nicest steakhouse in town is also housed at the comfort inn? HELLO CONVENIENCE. HELLO SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY. Ugh. Fuck my life.  After being spoiled at the fine dining establishments across the country, the steak was actually surprisingly acceptable…the bill however was a christmas gift.  We had no alcohol, 3 salads, 3 steaks, and each had 2 sides with our steak.  At any normal steakhouse, you are looking at at least $100 for that type of order. The bill? Thiry Five Dollars and sixty seven cents ($35.67).  Im still wondering if she only charged us for the baked potatoes.  After dinner, I returned to my lovely room with walls the color of dirty sand and a bed which makes the wall to wall carpeting look like 1,000 count sheets.  I turned on the 1994 26 inch toshiba television (its low definition..LD) to watch some playoff basketball. Well that lasted about 2 minutes. For the last 25 minutes I have been able to watch, The Weather Channel. That is it, nothing else works. Nicest hotel in town. At this point I am contemplating either killing myself, or answering a craigslist hooker classified and hoping she robs and kills me after she gives me the herpes….

Many sports fans know Valdosta, Georgia as “Titletown USA” due to their propensity for winning state, regional and national championships in sports such as, surprise, football.  Tonite, I am getting my first taste of this shithole. After putting off of I-75 exit 16 towards QUITMAN….talk about an omen, a sign, when you are getting off an exit after three hours of driving and the sign is say “hey man, probably not a good ideea, just QUITMAN.” Ugh.  Well after pulling off the itnerstate, I am 450 feet off the exit where I see what I hope is the only nightclub in town, because it is in a BARN. A BARN. As in where LIVE farmstock live, shit, pee, and give birth. A BARN.  While I passed that eye sore, I soon thereafter pulled into my hotel. The nicest hotel in town, the comfort inn…where the sounds of speeding cars on the interstate sooth you to sleep…but you cant hit snooze on a honking semi now can you?!  Well I met up with 2 clients of mine for dinner.  Would you be surprised if I told you that the nicest steakhouse in town is also housed at the comfort inn? HELLO CONVENIENCE. HELLO SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY. Ugh. Fuck my life.  After being spoiled at the fine dining establishments across the country, the steak was actually surprisingly acceptable…the bill however was a christmas gift.  We had no alcohol, 3 salads, 3 steaks, and each had 2 sides with our steak.  At any normal steakhouse, you are looking at at least $100 for that type of order. The bill? Thiry Five Dollars and sixty seven cents ($35.67).  Im still wondering if she only charged us for the baked potatoes.  After dinner, I returned to my lovely room with walls the color of dirty sand and a bed which makes the wall to wall carpeting look like 1,000 count sheets.  I turned on the 1994 26 inch toshiba television (its low definition..LD) to watch some playoff basketball. Well that lasted about 2 minutes. For the last 25 minutes I have been able to watch, The Weather Channel. That is it, nothing else works. Nicest hotel in town. At this point I am contemplating either killing myself, or answering a craigslist hooker classified and hoping she robs and kills me after she gives me the herpes….