We have all had our share of encounters with crazies. I for one, apparently have a bullseye on my torso for women lacking mental chemical balance. That being said, a story recently shared with me takes the cake for the craziest relationship fight…ever. We will call my friend, Tom and his crazy at the time girlfriend, Cheryl. We will pretend those are real names, because they are.
Tom and Cheryl had a great thing going, lots in common and they even worked together. After five months of good times and rock n roll, they got into their first real fight. A fight that caused Cheryl to not speak to Tom for an entire week, ignoring all texts, incoming calls and voicemails. When I asked Tom what happened, what had he done to cause such great anger and resentment from a girl that seemed to love him just days earlier. Tom gave me a simple description of his actions. “I kissed another girl, during a dream she had.” Allow me to repeat that, because it bears repeating. Cheryl, did not SPEAK to Tom FOR A WEEK, because he kissed another woman, IN HER OWN DREAM. This bears resembalance to the lewis black joke that talks about a girl in a mall saying “I wouldnt have spent that year in college if it wasnt for my horse.” I would talk to you Tom, but in my subconscious thoughts, while passed out in my 5th or 6th hour of slumber, you stuck your tongue in another womans mouth, you are scum. This is how people get cancer. You make a statement such as “Im not talking to you, because in my dreams you kissed someone” and you better be ready to take responsibility for causing seizures, tumors and epolepsy. By the 5th day of cold shoulders, Tom was actually apologizing to Cheryl. “Hey, I guess I am sorry for what I did in your dream…i dunno, maybe…is this real” was a common statement, right after he secured his testicles in a vice grip device.
Over under: Cheryl has 9 children at once in search of fame within ___- years
