Friends, Fans, Readers and Sworn Enemies,
I write you this afternoon with an exciting update. Like Obama’s presidency, and Tiger Woods being a role model, this is something that only happens once. This instance is not something I expect to happen again, ever. I have a date on Thursday with a girl who has a brain. She does not do hair, she does not live at home, she is not in real estate, she is not an Orlando “model”. She is a mechanical engineer at The National Aeronautics and Space Administration, better known to idiots and mortals as NASA. Whenever a space shuttle goes into orbit, she is responsible for controlling the levels of helium (wweeeeeee) and nitrogen that are in the shuttle. If those levels are wrong, apparently people die. Except for Justin Bieber, who is, as we all know—immortal.
I am spending the rest of my week brushing up on the conversational talking points of Time Travel. I texted her this morning with “Are you going to space today? Ya, me either.” I have no interest in space. I have interest in traveling in time and riding on the horse with Paul Revere. 1 if by crown. 2 if by ginger. You wouldn’t know about Paul, those of you who are Arizona Immigrants…he is an American patriot, hero, and active horseman.
Other than time continuum, the laws of relativity and flux capacitors, I am wondering if you guys or any of your friends would like to submit conversational talking points during our date of pizza and air hockey at Chuck E. Cheese (what is the middle name of Chuck bee—tee—dub, that would be interesting to start the date with). The thesis of the date: Is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure a practical possibility?
Please submit all requests by Thursday at 12PM to NopeNotApologizing at Gmail Dot Com. Feel free to forward this request. Thank you.
For further reading material on Time Travel, please visit www.abovetopsecret.com
