There are certain points in life that really make you wonder if the path you are on, is really the best path to take. For some, these thoughts come with the birth of their first child, a career change, or some sort of random epiphany from the heavens above.
For me, this realization came while hanging out with friends. Each and every one of my friends was laughing hysterically at what was on TV, and some even making lewd and obscene gestures with their hands. On the other hand I was sitting there, trying to concentrate on the television screen so that I could memorize the 1-800 number without having to write it down in front of the howling hyenas I call friends. Its true. You are officially the ultimate lazy/skinny hybrid when you think to yourself “Man, the “Shake Weight looks like a great option for me!!!! Whats the number again?!?!” This level of genuine lackadaisical excitement is only to be crushed by the hoots and hollers of friends sitting next to you who, with tears of comedy streaming down there faces yell, “what fag would order that…what an asshole”. There I sat, looking down at my gellin Dr. Scholls sneakers, whimpering “i wanted to order it”
The Shake Weight is perfectly practical. It allows the user to avoid monthly gym payments, driving to the gym, parking at the gym, seeing fat ladies on the cardiovascular machines at the gym…i mean really sweetheart? that stair master isnt doing you any good…going into the locker room at the gym, seeing penis in the locker room, seeing dude ass in the locker room, going to the weight room, having people laugh at you doing bench press sets with bar-only, take 40 water breaks in 25 minutes at the gym, playing pick up basketball against teenagers and getting shut out at the gym, crying at the gym, running out of the gym, running around the parking lot looking for your car at the gym, driving home from the gym, getting a speeding ticket on your way home from the gym, taking your anger out on your girlfriend when you get home from the gym and breaking up with your girlfriend….all because of the gym.
So what you are telling me, is for only $19.95, plus shipping and handling, which also allows me to get a free DVD that has $15 in value, I can have sculpted arms, a few more dollars in my pocket, and maybe have a steady girlfriend? I think my friends will just have to accept my shake weight.
