Look, Twitter. You really fucked me over. I just started “tweeting” (if my mother knew I was openly tweeting she would probably say ‘stop being a foo-foo’), and you really decided to not give me a little help, a little warning, maybe even a nudge-n-whisper saying “hey bud, this isnt real life, you can follow whoever you want here for whatever reason, but it doesn’t work like that in the real world, you can’t just follow people”.
From now on when people ask me, as I have asked so many a time, “what is twitter”, my generic response will be “it basically is a windowless van that you can sit in across from the cyberspace recess yard, and watch/follow whoever you want, with no apology needed”
Twitter, back to my complaint. I needed that warning. After signing up, I figured I could just assume twitter action in real life. WRONG. Going up to a cute girl in an airport that I have never interacted or seen before and whispering “ImFollowingYou!!!” so close to her ear that she can smell my breath, well that really does not go over so well. Next thing you know you are laying on the ground, having your tears for dinner while muttering “twitter twitter twitter”. Then your best case scenario is to have her realize your tweets, and cradle you from the cold concrete at a 30 degree angle so the mase starts to drain from your tear ducts.
Fuck you Twitter at least you could have air conditioning and heated seats in the van.
