Women the world over are suffering from severe identity crisis and loss of mental capacity after it was announced that horoscopes would in fact be changing. Thanks to astronomers at the Minnesota Planetarium Society, we have now found that the Earth’s rotation has changed, and females the world over are left wondering “Who was I? Who have I been? I thought I was a virginal and earthy Virgo, but now I am a firey and masculine Leo? Hmmm….oh look, new shoes!” Your “sign” is determined by the position of the sun on the day you were born, so that means everything you thought you knew about yourself, and your horoscope is dead wrong. In fact, you have been faking it for years, just living the life of another sign. On a positive note, tattoo parlors across the country are preparing themselves for a rush of repeat business as drunk bar stars and floozies return to “re-do” the tattoo of the astrological sign their have on their shoulder blades.
