SINS: Sorry I'm Not Sorry

Email--NopeNotApologizing(at)gmail(dot)com
A social experiment, if you will. The other day I ordered business cards on Fed-Ex Kinkos website. They arrived on friday and they look like absolute shit. I called for a refund they basically told me I was a blind idiot. This got me thinking, is this what online dating is like? Only one way to find out—Match dot com profile established. I have listed the following in my “Bio” Section: ”Interests: open bars, inviting dancefloors, pockets full of fake mustaches, no apologies, t shirts with embarassing pictures of friends, spin the bottle dance circle dance offs, leading crowds in the singing of the national anthem on July 4th, dressing up for non dress up holidays, awkward situations, cocktails and ponytails, spanking dance floor planks, 1 if by crown 2 if by ginger, tidal wave shots, napkin notes, and tuxedo fridays” There are two (2) black and white pictures of me in nice outfits, the others are of me in costume and unapologetic flare. So far, in 24 hours my profile has been viewed 33 times by what appear to be goblins, wenchs, one frodo looking creature. I was “winked” at…does it get creepier? The “winker” may, or may not, have down syndrome. I paid for this?  I am planning to prepare a detailed, and time synchronized power point presentation about myself together to bring on 1st dates. I will sit at the table, gently open my laptop and play the laptop, potentially while doing an interpretive dance behind the table—but strictly for reasons of ambience, and bringing sexy back.

A social experiment, if you will. The other day I ordered business cards on Fed-Ex Kinkos website. They arrived on friday and they look like absolute shit. I called for a refund they basically told me I was a blind idiot. This got me thinking, is this what online dating is like? Only one way to find out—Match dot com profile established.

I have listed the following in my “Bio” Section: ”Interests: open bars, inviting dancefloors, pockets full of fake mustaches, no apologies, t shirts with embarassing pictures of friends, spin the bottle dance circle dance offs, leading crowds in the singing of the national anthem on July 4th, dressing up for non dress up holidays, awkward situations, cocktails and ponytails, spanking dance floor planks, 1 if by crown 2 if by ginger, tidal wave shots, napkin notes, and tuxedo fridays” There are two (2) black and white pictures of me in nice outfits, the others are of me in costume and unapologetic flare.

So far, in 24 hours my profile has been viewed 33 times by what appear to be goblins, wenchs, one frodo looking creature. I was “winked” at…does it get creepier? The “winker” may, or may not, have down syndrome. I paid for this? 

I am planning to prepare a detailed, and time synchronized power point presentation about myself together to bring on 1st dates. I will sit at the table, gently open my laptop and play the laptop, potentially while doing an interpretive dance behind the table—but strictly for reasons of ambience, and bringing sexy back.

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