Earlier today I was listening to Ben Harper’s “Oppression” while cooking eggs…how appropriate. Well I moaned like scooby doo and I could have swarn I heard “Oppression, you seek OVULATION CONTROL” At that point I was sure I had found the worst lyric, ever. It was too my shagrin (great word), that he is actually singing “you seek all of the control”…either way, I hate your tribal tatts, Ben.
A royal fart. Still Framed. Way to go Prince Phillip
I am really excited to start dating again. I hope this gives you a look at what I offer, and what I am looking for.
Russia built this, “Tears of Grief” monument to comemorate 9/11. Thanks for building us a huge vagina, Mother Russia.
This weekend I am headed to a wedding where a member of DA BEARS, The Chicago Bears is the groom. As a result of this, many of DA BEARS will be in attendance, and yes the ones that come to mind will be there. I have been thinking about this, and this weekend will basically be a melting pot of testosterone. At 6’2 160 pounds dripping wet and afraid of the benchpress in a public setting, I should fit in perfectly. That being said, “After some major fucking testing, it was found that my sperm count was that of a stallion. I agree, I’m built like a motherfucking centaur.”
Bring it NFL. Note: apparently there will be a putt putt golf tournament this weekend. The answer is yes, I am dressing up. Pics to come.
“Sometimes I like to have a threesome in a hot tub as a congratulations to myself for all my successes. Yeah, I know how to fucking party…”
This girl was on Dr.Phil last night for being Gold Digger. I think she could make her own money if she would just let the asian at Appliance Direct sell her trash compacting face. gew. I’d rather kiss a working garbage disposal.
Too Soon?
The Real Life McLovin. This guy lit the dancefloor on fire on Friday night, and stole both of my dates from me. High fives to McLovin.
