January 2009
59 posts
Oops.
Black Barber, Tim: My man, how we doin....doin
Me: Can't complain tim, whats flyin high?
Black Barber: MAAAAAN, im ready for day light savings
Me: Oh say word?
Black Barber: Im sick of these early sunsets, I need some more sun light
Me: YEA IM SICK OF THIS DARK SHIT TOO.
SILENCE....SNIP SNIP...SILENCE
50 YEARS FROM NOW
drned:
GRANDSON: “Grandpa, what did you do during the inauguration of Barack Obama?”
ME: “well, i slept through most of it, little Timmy. then i got up and took a couple resin hits for good measure, and spent the remainder of it making silly comments on my blog”
GRANDSON: “whats a blog, Grandpa?”
ME: “it was like a circlejerk. a great biiiiiiiig circlejerk.”
GRANDSON: “whats a…”
ME: “look,...
OBAMA SINS QOUTE
“WE WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR OUR WAY OF LIFE”-Barack Obama.
Im tearing up.
Dear Dr. King and Mr. Obama:
Look, I owe you both an apology. Dr. King, all this time I have been praying to Little Baby Jesus for my one dream in life, and Mr. Obama, I did not vote for you, and I spoke out against you. Yesterday, on the birthday of Dr. King and the eve of Mr. Obama’s historic and epic inauguration, you both delivered me to my dreams. You had a dream Dr. King, and Mr. Obama you have brought hope into...
Please call the below phone number, especially if...
(413)497-0025 Listen to the whole recording
My first 21st birthday, when I was 18.
Ah, Youth. Like the smell of a freshly mown yard, Youth is something to be enjoyed. When I say Youth, I hope you realize I am actually saying “Stupidity”. You see, during my freshman year of college I got a fake ID in Philadelphia during Christmas break. I picked North Carolina as my fake residence, and 1980 as my fake birth year, and lets be honest. In 1980, my mother had no business...
I present to you: a dramatic reading of a breakup... →
EPIC.
randyhaddock:
Brilliant, I tell you, brilliant!
S.I.N.S. Fan Mail 1.0
“I have to say I am inexplicably in love with you- You’re my new online crush. You and the guy who writes for www.thesuperficial.com. if you kill him in a bare handed brawl I will crown you #1 cybercrush of all.
Your comedic genius is a panty dropper and your wit/sarcasm is like kriptonite to readers all over the world. SINS.”
AAAWWWWW
Can every date be summed up in 1 article?... →
Big Butts Good For Health
Ladies,
Are you self conscious about your pear shaped rump? No need to go to the hip-hop clubs for attention, there is a new study out that says your rump may protect you from diseases, like a shield from the braveheart battle fields…or maybe even from the fields of 300.
You can read the story here. But from now on, when you look in the mirror, over the shoulder, at your rump just say...